They bleed blue, you know. They never show that in the comics or TV show, but they bleed blue. And they scream, though not if you do it smurfy enough.
Most smurfs are three apples high. I'm more than twenty-eight apples high. Do you know how badly they make fun of you when you don't fit in... literally??? Do you know how un-smurfy those little blue guys can be? They point at you, and shout, "I bet you smurf in a smurfy smurf!" They won't invite you to the smurfy parties. They steal your smurfiest stuff!
One day I found this smurfy knife. See how smurfy it is? It's so shiny and smooth and sharp and sharp and...
Well, when you put one of these in those little guys' face, they get real smurfy real quick. Papa Smurf stops with the folksy advice and starts with the respect. Even Smurfette starts acting nice to you.
And if they're not, well, then you get to find out what color they bleed, don't you?
The doctors say I shouldn't be outside, but they're not very smurfy, are they?
Just as a note, the Smurf's homepage is www.smurf.com. Psycho Smurf is, of course, a parody of the actual Smurfs, who would never do anything so un-smurfy as make fun of smurfs that are different.
This work by Timothy H. Ruppel is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
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