Funny Mental Insights: 17: Hopes for Heaven

The prompt is to create my ideal place in 400 words. Go ahead, count them.

When I was young, people who loved me told me of Heaven. They told me every detail: streets of gold, gates of pearl, harps, angels. I'd be able to meet the apostles. I would know all the answers. I would never feel pain or loss. I would never feel sickness or death. I'd be "the perfect age," whatever that may be.

I was never really asked what I thought of all that. I was afraid to consider whether the Heaven they described seemed like a good place. The only other alternative was the fire of Hell. Even if Heaven were boring and clinical and, well, lonely, there is no doubt that it is better than the alternative.

I'm much older now, and I've long tired of people bullying me with Hell in a way God never does. I also have come to believe that God loves me: not some cartoon version of me that only kind of looks like I do.

So I don't really care what color the streets are or what the gates are made out of. I'm not really a fan of harp music. (I mean, it's OK, but the last time I really enjoyed hearing the harp Harpo Marx was playing in an old movie.)

(I would love to meet the apostles, though.)

Mainly, I just hope Heaven is different from this world. I hope it is a place where I won't ever feel ugly, or lost, or stupid, or awkward. I hope that I won't ever feel left alone, rejected, abandoned. I don't want to feel sick, unless I could be sure that people like Christie will care for me. I like feeling cared for.

However, I also hope that Heaven is a place a lot like this world. I hope that there will be paths to explore, questions that lead to more questions. I hope that there will be lots of beautiful mathematics, just like in this world. I hope that, regardless of what it says in the Bible, that I'll still be Christie's husband, because I can't imagine being whole with her as part of me.

I hope that God and the saints will talk with me, even argue with me, push me to grow, because when I'm growing, when I'm learning and discovering and creating, I'm happiest.

So, I guess, I hope Heaven is not so much a place, as a life.