It all started one fine spring day when I happened upon legendary sports announcer Howard Cosell, taking a stroll by the West Napoleon drainage canal.
I asked him what he was doing, and he said that he lost his pet kangaroo and didn't know where it went. I told him that kangaroos come from Australia. I asked him if he looked there.
So, we got on a plane and flew to Australia.
Or, we would have if the pilot hadn't gotten an inner ear infection from waltzing with a woman named Matilda. He lost his sense of direction and we ended up in Canada.
Now, it turns out that there was a Canadian at the airport who had a kangaroo that looked just like Howard's. She found the kangaroo piloting a gondola on a canal in Venice and wondered whose it was.
Since Howard was looking for his kangaroo near a canal, we decided it must be his.
So, I got back in the plane to go home.
This time, I gave the pilot directions so that we'd go home to New Orleans.
When we landed in London, I talked to a young man who was walking around Hyde Park, looking for a swimming pool.
I told him that he should probably go back to America where there are lots of pools.
He took my advice and returned across the ocean, only to return many years later, to win several gold medals.
That man was Michael Phelps.
And this was a HUGE lie.
This work by Timothy H. Ruppel is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
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