71: Insanity You Can Dance To

Prompt #71 is to write about a holiday memory. This isn't really a holiday as opposed to a special occasion, and it's a short-term memory, but it's my blog.

Madness may descend in screams, in silence, or, in rare instances, to the sounds of 80s music.

 

i recently attended a high school reunion for a class of 1983. After about an hour of listening, I noticed something odd with the young DJ. It wasn't my reunion, so I didn't know many people there. 

 

I was kind of bored, so I texted my thoughts to my son. I figured he could ignore the texts if he wanted.

I've changed the name of the DJ, who I don't want to embarrass. To be honest, he was more than competent, in general, blending one song into another very well. He did have a problem, however. 

 

(I've added YouTube links to the music in case you don't recognize the songs by their titles, and I've made a few small edits for clarity.)

9:16 So, is "Thrift Shop" really a good choice of music for the class of 1983?

9:20 Now it's Rick Astley. Actually an improvement...

9:26 The DJ is actually pretty good now that he found the crowd. "Eye of the Tiger" after "I Want a New Drug."

9:27 (My son texts back) Aww man, I was hoping for more macklemore.

9:31 As were we all. "Infatuation" by Aerosmith or Steven Tyler solo, I forget. Dude still look like a lady. [Actually, it's Rod Stewart.]

9:33 To the left. To the left.

9:40 Poor kid. He thinks just because we like the Cupid Shufffle, we're good with 50 Cent....

9:42 Beyoncé now. PLEASE GOD, LET ONE OF THESE GUYS HERE DO THE SINGLE LADIES DANCE.

9:45 "Single Ladies" fading into "Sweet Home Alabama."

9:48 And if you picked Justin Timberlake "SexyBack," you win the Back Street Boys Greatest Hit album.

9:51 He wants us to make a Harlem Shake video. Poor poor kid. He's playing the music and everyone's looking at him like he's lost his mind.

9:54 I think the kid's given up. "Harlem Shake" to Jim Bob Country Joe Somebody's "Boot Scootin Boogie". [It's Brooks & Dunn. I'm not much of a country music fan.]

9:57 "I Love Rock and Roll" now. It's sad, really.

10:01 They stopped the music for some kind of announcement or speech or something, and so the DJ could get a little quick therapy.

10:03 (My son texts me) He calls his agent.

10:13 The kid's name is Clay or maybe Qlé. "Tainted Love" There was an audible "oh!" of recognition from the class.

10:17 "Working for the Weekend." I think we broke poor Clay. He's going to be humming Cindy Lauper in the shower now.

10:20 "Come On Feel the Noise." Inside Clay's head: "Not Madonna. Just nobody ask for Madonna. PLEASE!!!"

10:26 "White Wedding." Give him credit. Clay is trying hard to hold onto his cool, but he's starting to think platform shoes might look good on him.

10:27 One guy dancing to "White Wedding" by himself. No one wants to see this. Clay will never be the same.

10:29 To prove he's still got some taste left, Clay plays Peter Gabriel's "Shock the Monkey." The lone dancer has somehow attracted a partner. Miracles continue.

10:31 There are three women my age talking to Clay while "Shock the Monkey" plays. I'll bet they want Madonna.

10:33 "Shake It Up" by the Cars I think. Women still talking to Clay. Clay isn't crying. Clay is strong.

10:35 Clay says the request was for Prince. He plays "1999." One of the women is still talking to him. Poor Clay. [No liink.Prince seems to not put his own videos on YouTube, and, judging from the extremely small number of Prince videos there uploaded by others, I'm guessing he complains a lot.]

10:37 He played "1999" earlier. It might be his only Prince. People are dancing. Clay's probably trying to get a wireless signal so he can get  "Purple Rain" on iTunes.

10:43 "Billie Jean." He played this one before, too. He probably took a chance that we have Alzheimer's. People keep talking to him. "There's only so much 80s music," he thinks desperately.

10:48 Now he's trying some kind of weird drum-and-bass Sting mash-up. I think it's a window into his damaged soul. Nobody is dancing anymore.

10:49 People are talking to Clay. Yes, Clay, this is Hipster Hell.

10:51 I just overheard someone say she's going to ask for Journey. You can actually hear Clay's hipster soul scream.

10:53 (My son texts me) You should ask for Bon Jovi.

10:57 I don't think so. I don't think poor Clay or I can take it. Now he's playing something I don't recognize. "Learn to Love Again" maybe? [Pink, maybe?]

11:01 Clay remembers that "Thriller" is an 80s song, and playing it means four more Journey-free minutes. People are dancing to it as if it's Journey. God help Clay.

11:14 I just can't take watching the rest of Clay's descent into madness. We're headed home.

Yes, it was just after 11:00 and we were headed home. We had church in the morning, and it's pretty clear we'll never be as cool as Clay is, or was before he agreed to DJ at this reunion.

I imagine the day after Clay's friends had all come over for an intervention after they saw him wearing silk shirts and listening to one Huey Lewis song after another. The play Skrillex and Daft Punk and Kanye West for him until he stops humming Madonna songs. Then they all go to Starbucks for a kind of coffee that's  not on the menu.

 
Copyright 2013. Timothy H. Ruppel. All rights reserved.

This work by Timothy H. Ruppel is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.