It's not hard most of the times. Long pants if the legs are bruised, long sleeve shirts if it's the arms. I'm careful about letting the blouse ride up or the jeans ride down even a bit.
He usually stays away from my face. It's only once or twice a year I have to lie to my friends and tell them that I hit my head on the door or tripped down the stairs.
I don't want him to hit me, but I know he loves me, and I love him too, so I don't know what to do. A lady at work who didn't believe my "silly me tripped in the bathroom" story told me I should just leave him, but I can't do that. He loves me. I don't want to hurt him, not even when he hurts me.
It's bad when he drinks, but it's not just when he's drunk. He's got such a crummy job, and he can't very well hit his boss, can he? He can't hit his stupid co-worker? He comes home, and he can hit me. And maybe he feels powerful and maybe he can let go some steam. He only has the job so he can help support me, right?
I want him to touch me. I even like it when he pats my behind or stuff like that. We used to wrestle sometimes, play around. That was fun.
I don't want to make things worse for him.
I just don't want to wake up hurt and hope I'm not hurt too bad. I just want him to be happy, so we can be happy together.
And I pray, oh God I pray that we won't have any kids until we can work this out.
I need help, but I don't think anyone understands.
If this is you, or if this is your girlfriend or wife, please get help. It's not as hopeless as it looks, and there are people who might just understand. Here's one place to start looking. A church or synagogue may be another possibility.
This work by Timothy H. Ruppel is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
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